Light the Night <3

It's been a whilee, huh?

So. Yesterday night was Light the Night. It was fuun. I was (still am) sick, so I was sorta up & down. I hope I didn't offend anyone if you talked to me and I sorta just nodded or something. :O that was not my intention. Throughout the whole time, before and during and after the walk, I spent time with a lotta people, not just Megan or Dana or Hannah Joo or those people. Or I spent time alone too. ahahha. I also spent time with Joe&William&Josh. It was pretty fun. I dunno. I think I find myself starting to not fit in as well sometimes with the "typical people" that I used to always spend time with. But I still have fun with them. It's just weird. Like I spent a lot of time during the walk sorta aloneish. ahaha. but that's okay with me. it was still super fun. (oh. and. HAHA. tiffany liu is soo funny and random! i lovee her!)

And right when we finished, we got goody bags, and this thing dropped out of this guys bag. So I was near Isabel and I told her and i was about to get it but then she reached for it. and then it was so cute. because she gave it to him and said it was his, and he looked so confused but then he gave her this big amazing smile and then she started to leave and then he yelled out "Hey! Thanks!" and it was so touching. like. I dunno. I found it so wonderful.

The walk was touching. So many people there, all affected in their own individual way. There were toddlers who had posters for their mom who died, there were whole cheer squads there for someone on their team, and it was just, together-ing. x] There was this one part, and it was supposed to be a "moment of silence" part, and i was trying to read all the statistics and facts and look at the pictures, but this annoying rock band was playing music so loud and it was distracting. but i was walking alone during that part, and I almost cried, because it was so sad.

but yeeah. that was that. (: i think i have a shin splint. ): it hurts a loot. and we have a game on tuesday! alsoo, yesterday my voice was totally disappearing, and it's getting a little bit better now. I feel less sick. If i get totally better on my own, that's the first time it's ever happened in a super long time. because i almost always go to the doctor right when i get a little bit sick.

ohh. like about the not fitting in as much thing. i noticed i started doing this, but i didn't know anyone else did. but apparently i've turned down a lot of offers to go play with people. and people have asked me why i don't play as much anymore. and it's partially because my mom has gotten super mad about it more than once since the summer started, and it's partially because none of them get my mom. none of them believe me that she actually cares that i get home by a certain time, or that i don't change plans last minute, or that i stay home to do chores. they all think i'm making up excuses to not hang out. or they all think i'm exaggerating and my mom will ease up in like a day. and none of them know how hard it is to keep her happy. and part of it is i'd rather not hang out with them. lip sync practices were so fun. but the ones with the guys and the girls were the funnest. because there were so many people there i wouldn't normally talk to. and they were so crazy and believable and easy to be myself around. besides the practices, i've only been to one person's house, and only once, and it was to "study" for history, since before september. and for me, that's unusual. buut oh well. and this one person, she's the one i feel the most comfortable around, out of my supposed "close friends." because i don't try around her, and i trust her, and she trusts me, and we don't have any awkwardness at all, that i can sense. but yeah. this little thing went no where. but i just had to get it out because i wrote the rest of the post and then remembered this part. so sorry it's so random. x)

kay. it's getting late and i still have work to do. time to get ready for another mondaay. ):