Dear Summer Lovers;

"I knew if I gave into it, I'd have to surrender myself completely. I'd lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I'd built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble."
Keeping You a Secret; Julie Anne Peters

Kind of explains my life. It's so reassuring, to read these books, and meet these characters that are experiencing everything I have. Books are my secret pleasure. Everyone sees me as a nerd. They don't stop to think about what it is I'm reading, or why. Why? Because when I read, I read about the lives of other people, about their hardships, their crushes, their break-ups, their first loves, first kisses, first times; I read about their losses, their troubles, their parents, their life. And in the time that I'm reading, I don't think about my own life at all. How many things do you do that actually take you that much away from yourself? Soccer, volleyball, they kind of do that for me also. But reading a book with a bowl of ice cream, sitting in my bed under the covers, with the breeze coming in through my windows, it is absolutely the best thing ever to me. It's weird, I guess. You get your pleasures and happinesses from sports, from writing, from drawing, from music, from those types of things. I get mine from books. I can spend hours reading through a book I've already read three times, and it doesn't feel like a waste of time. In fact, it feels like the time goes by too fast. I love that. So, yeah. I like reading. Call me a nerd if you want to. (:

So I read The Year of Secret Assignments recently.

Truthfully, I bought it because of the name of one of the characters. You know that guy I saw at Chuck E. Cheese, that guy who had me second guessing my feelings? If you don't, then oh well. But yeah. That guy. His name was in this book. I saw it, so I bought it. HOW CRAZY IS THAT. But yeah. I've talked to him. I don't get butterflies through texting; who does? I want to hang out with him. I'm scared to. You know how sometimes you create the illusion that you absolutely love this person, but then you hang out with them a bit more, and you don't feel that way anymore? I don't want that to happen. Sometimes, is it better to leave things as they are, in that perfect place, or to pursue it, whether it turns out well or not? Don't get me wrong, I don't like him. But he is still someone I have wanted to get close to again since he left Whitney. You know, when I saw him randomly, I practically pushed three people out of my booth to get up to go see him? I've never had that rush of emotions about anyone before. It was fun. But it was a long time ago. OHMYOHMY. I don't like him. (: I don't like anyone. Not that anyone cares.

But. The Year of Secret Assignments and Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac are really good books. (: And Keeping You a Secret is about lesbians/gays. Not that I care. But it took me twenty pages to figure it out. Because the main character's name is Holland, and she is talking about a girl, but I couldn't tell if Holland is a boys' name or a girls' name. x)

Today in Health; it was boring. I think I would die in that class if Mr. Burnett didn't talk to Melissa and me a lot. Because I try to participate a lot, and it's still boring. How is it in the back of the class for you guys? :O And so, we're doing that BestLookingPersonoftheOppositeGender thing. Thanks a lot second period. I blush easily. So Andy got picked, then he picked me and I blushed even though I didn't really feel the blush, and so then I picked Chris and it's so awkward when you get put on the spot like that and are expected to say a name. Like. It won't come out! I could feel my lips twitching. HAHA. And it's not like you love the person, right? It's just to so publicly call someone out is embarrassing. THEN Chris picked me again. I don't know why! I think he was just too lazy to pick someone. HAHAH. (huh, Chris? If you're reading this.) So the whole class went crazy and was like "Ooooh something's going on here!" and Melissa said I was blushing like crazy again. Haha. Fun times. (: But yeah. ChristopherPlatt, I will get you back. :D

Love,
Marissa Fierro (:

P.S. This is the prettiest post I've ever made, by my standards. (:

You Can't Hurry Love!

It's purely selfish. It's simply a wish. It's amazingly a desire. It's sadly a lie. It's terrifyingly a possibility. It's literally a dream. I want it to be a startling possibility, a blatant reality.

There's this song. I forgot what it is. It's annoying me. It says something about two people wishing they could be older? So that they could have a further along relationship. GOODNESS. I can't remember.