Thursday, October 21, 2010

i am so fucking frustrated and fed up. With so many things. so i've been ranting so much lately. and i'm literally up and down in feelings, i'm never normal, i'm either really hyper and happy or super sad and frustrated. So catch me in a good mood when you can. i want things to get better and i don't want to be fed up anymore. so that means i have to make an effort to fix this for myself.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

today. I got hit in the face really hard by someone's serve during varsity warmups. and then i got like reaction tears, you know the ones that you can't help just because something hurt so much and you cant really control it? so i was like "omfg" and i went to kaya so that it would stop so i could continue helping out; but the weird thing is, my tears wouldn't stop. and i was legitly crying not even just tearing. whatthefuck. i had to go to the bathroom to wash my face, but luckily i could blame it on the ball.

i feel so on edge these days. i guess part of it has to do with sleeping like 4 hours every day and not eating healthy and blah blah blah. but this really sucks. i'm getting so annoyed at people for the smallest things, and people are always telling me I either look tired, sick, or really mad. and in volleyball i'm especially sensitive. ugh. this sucks. ):

Friday, October 8, 2010

if only

and if you only knew how much i miss you, and how much i think about you every single fucking day that passes by. if only you knew how much i would love to spend time with you, how much you would mean to me. if only you knew how good we could be, if only you knew that even when i talk to other people, you're always in the back of my mind. If only you knew that even though you were a complete jerk, i can't make myself hate you or what you did, i just want to see you more to resolve it. if only you knew that if it had been any other guy, he would have been out of sight and out of mind the second he left. if only you fucking knew. how much i could really truly believe in us and how wonderful we would be.