I can't remember the sound of his voice. I miss talking to him for an hour everyday when we were supposed to be learning. I want to see his smile and hear him laugh again. I want that feeling back, that he'll be there to make me laugh when I'm mad, and to listen while I rant about boys or friends. I want him back, so we can say how everyone sounds so weird speaking in a language they don't know. I want to remember his voice. And I can't.
And. I haven't really been in the mood to blog lately. :\ I dunno. I think I've closed up a bit. And I can't open up again. It's like, when you get a cut, and it starts to heal, but you cut it again, and it hurts even worse? And like, while you were healing, you felt so good and closed up? And numb to the pain, so the last thing you wanted was to get cut again? Yeah. I feel sorta like that. I've been closed up to my feelings pretty much. Except for once in a while. And I don't want to be vulnerable to tears and anger and extreme joy or anything that's not just okay again. At least not for now. So, yeah. that's why i haven't been much in the blogging mood.
4 comments:
its okay i bet you're gonnna start blogging again.
wow this is actually the first time i visited your blog =]
joy is alright.
and extreme joy? even better. (:
Well your blog will be here when you do need to rant...and so will we! ;D <3
Or you could always post about something random...that's fun to read too. (:
<3
a lot of people rant on blogs...
just like me...
i rant about the most random stuffs ever.
one time i ranted about people who are so self centered about themselves and didn't care about hte homeless
another time i ranted about brannen xD
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